Long Island wedding menu. © Dan Wagner 2023

The main reason you need to feed your wedding photographer is to prevent them from leaving your wedding venue for dinner. Think about it. Your photographer is one of your only wedding vendors who is with you all day. Naturally, they need picture-taking fuel in the form of food. You don’t want the photographer wasting time waiting for the valet to retrieve their car and then searching for someplace to grab a slice of pizza. In the Godfather, I’m pretty sure Don Corleone said, “Keep your wedding guests close and your photographer closer.”

No matter. As a wedding photographer, I can assure you that an expensive dinner is low on my priority list. A simple sandwich and some cocktail hour snacks are all I need to keep my shutter finger going. To make sure I’m prepared food-wise, I always pack a small cooler with drinks and light snacks for my car. The drinks can be a real lifesaver. And not just for me, but for the bride and groom as well. On hot days nobody is appreciated more than someone with cold drinks.

Even so, having a packed cooler in the car is no substitute for receiving a meal at the wedding venue. During dinner, I make sure to recharge camera batteries as needed, and organize my gear for the rest of the wedding. I also confer with the DJ/band, videographer, and others regarding how they can assist during various photo opportunities such as parent dances, and cutting of the cake—so it’s really a working dinner.

Blame the Game (Venue) Not the Player!

When it comes to photographer and other vendor meals, I believe the real sticking point is greed—on the part of the wedding reception hall venue. Seriously, isn’t it enough that bride and grooms are paying over $150 per guest—as well as numerous other fees that easily increase the venue fees to over 25K for a 100-person wedding? I understand that wedding venues want to maximize their profits and not leave money on the table—much less food for the vendors.

However, the truth of the matter is that feeding wedding vendors doesn’t cost the venue a penny. The reason for this is that every venue has extra food on hand. What the vendors don’t eat will only be thrown away. For everyone’s benefit, it’s about time that wedding venues stop pressuring couples to pay for vendor meals. That said, I’m a fan of wedding venues, and greatly appreciate all they do—especially the maître d's who keep things running smoothly. It’s important to keep the primary wedding mission goal front and center—the bride and groom come first!

How to Avoid Paying for Wedding Photographer Meals

So, how can bride and grooms avoid paying for vendor meals? Simple—just negotiate with the venue before signing the contract. That’s when you have the bargaining power. If you have 100 guests and 2 wedding vendors—chances are 2 or more guests won’t be able to come to your wedding. So simply request that the vendors receive these meals. After all, you have to pay for 100 meals (or whatever your minimum is) anyway. If the wedding venue tries to insist that vendor meals are charged at half price—mention that some of the other venues you’ve spoken to are happy to provide free vendor meals.

Don’t Fall for the Our House Wedding Vendors Eat for Free Scam!

One of the most offensive scams some wedding venues try to get away with is the, “Our house wedding vendors eat for free scam.” Simply put, the venue salesperson will tell you that if you go with their recommended house vendors, then you won’t have to pay for the vendor meals. This is faulty reasoning. Why? Because being able to decide who should photograph, DJ, and video your wedding is more important than a chicken dinner!

And what does it say about the quality of the venues house vendors that you should choose them on this basis? That’s why the salesperson will double-down on their faulty reasoning by saying, “Only our house wedding photographers know where the best spots for photos are.” Seriously? Anyone, photographer or not can see with their own eyes where the good indoor and outdoor photo spots are—it’s not rocket science. Fair play—as a photographer my input on menus is equally unnecessary. As Steve McQueen said to a meddling Robert Vaughn in the 1968 movie Bullitt, “You work your side of the street and I’ll work mine.” Such a great line!

The real reason wedding venues want you to use their house vendors is because they receive a commission—a kickback! Often in cash! And it comes at the expense of possibly inflated vendor charges you to cover this kickback. Even if the fee is the same as the outside vendor—there’s no such thing as a free meal—you’re paying for it in terms of the quality of your albums or somewhere else.

Do Wedding Vendors Tip for Their Meals?

Yes. In almost all situations, wedding photographers and other vendors will leave a $10 tip under their plate for the waitstaff. You know what’s funny? I’ve often heard wedding vendors ask if they could have the kids meal—chicken fingers and fries! As a photographer, I prefer to eat light. I don’t want to feel bloated and lethargic when I’m creating wedding photos.

Where Should Wedding Vendors be Seated?

Generally, wedding vendors will eat in a nearby area adjoining the main dining room. From this location the DJ can hear through his or her remote transmitter if they’re needed., and when it’s time to change the music. At many weddings, vendors will be seated at the rear of the main dining room. This is a good idea because it gives the vendor a convenient place to store gear and take a quick break, while also remaining instantly available. Of course, due to space constrictions and other factors vendor tables are not always possible.

My photographer vendor seating assignment! Yippee! © Dan Wagner 2023

Do all Wedding Venues Play the House Vendor Game?

No. Thankfully, there are many wedding venues that believe serving your best interests serve theirs as well. On Long Island we say, “Give to get.” It’s a business version of the Golden Rule. Every bride and groom should be treated as though they were the vendors own sons and daughters. Wouldn’t it be great if the stress and concern regarding Long Island wedding vendor meals could simply disappear?

“I could not have been more pleased with our photography choice. Dan was so easy to communicate with and really captured the feeling we wanted in our photographs. His price was fair in comparison with other photographers and was very flexible in creating our package. On the day of the wedding everything went smoothly with no kinks and honestly during the day we barely even knew he was there taking the pictures.”

—Zarrea and Elvis

Every Bride and Groom Deserve Beautiful Wedding Photos!

Please feel free to share your wedding thoughts and concerns in the comment box below. And thanks for visiting my Long Island wedding photographer blog!