Should You Allow Children at Your Long Island Wedding?
Beautiful flower girl sitting on a green velvet couch at the Fox Hollow wedding venue. © Dan Wagner 2023
Planning for a child-friendly wedding is pretty easy. All you need is a good babysitter, toys, videos, snacks, and a designated play area. You can also ask the babysitter to drive the kids home for weddings that run past their bedtimes. Most of the Long Island weddings I’ve photographed have been held at child-friendly venues that are happy to help. Allowing children at your wedding provides an opportunity for them to meet their newly expanded family and friends.
Depending on whether the children are old enough to remember attending your wedding, it can be an opportunity for them to view weddings in a positive light, and as something to look forward to in their own lives. Feeling the warmth and acceptance of old and new family members may also give children an added sense of security, and belonging.
Long Island wedding ring bearer and flower girl asleep in limo. © Dan Wagner 2023
Of course, if you’re having a small wedding at an upscale restaurant, or perhaps a New York City wedding in a venue that’s not very child-friendly, then asking family and guests to leave the kids at home might be the best choice. As an alternative, the children can be included in other wedding related events such as an engagement party, family gathering, or at the rehearsal dinner.
Brides and grooms should never be “guilt-tripped” or criticized for their wedding choices. Unless lines of exclusion are crossed such as not inviting a sibling and their spouse to your own kid’s rehearsal dinner—then understanding is a good policy. Every couple should be able to pursue their own dream wedding visions.
Two Long Island ring bearers walking down the aisle. © Dan Wagner 2023
3 Tips for Diplomatically Not Allowing Kids at Your Wedding
Let everyone know about your child wedding preferences by including invitation, website, and email notes specifying that it’s an “adults-only reception,” and “our wedding is adults only, thank you.” The key here is to be friendly, polite, and firm.
If guests will be staying at the same nearby hotel, then you can offer to provide babysitters for people unable to make other arrangements. Because attending weddings, can be expensive—it’s a nice gesture to help lessen the out-of-pocket costs for families that might find it an added burden.
Discuss your child wedding preferences in advance with key family members and friends known for their diplomatic communication skills. As we all know, no matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks they know better. At the end of the day, it’s your wedding, and your life—live it your way.
Young girl having fun at a Long Island wedding. © Dan Wagner 2023
10 Tips for Allowing Kids at Your Wedding
In general, flower girls and ring bearers—age permitting—should be allowed at your wedding reception.
Hire an on-site babysitter to help look after the younger kids. You may need more than one.
Enlist the help of willing teenage wedding guests with babysitting skills, and be sure to pay them well. Avoid asking teenagers who think they’re too old and all grown up to babysit.
Try to arrange for designated play and rest areas with snacks and kid-friendly videos.
Ask the wedding venue to provide a kids menu with things like chicken nuggets, french fries, and pizza.
Remind parents to pack some of the their children’s favorite toys, and pajamas for weddings that end late.
Consider scheduling the cutting of the cake earlier than normal for parents who may wish to leave early.
Give the children disposable cameras so they can have fun taking photos of themselves and the wedding guests.
If you providing wedding favors for guests at the end of your reception, be sure to create some kid-friendly wedding favors as well.
Some wedding DJs play the pass-the-dollar game at the end of the reception, with the winner getting to take home the floral centerpiece. You can create a kid’s version of this game, where each kid “wins” something.
Future Long Island wedding photographer in action! © Dan Wagner 2023
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“Dan Wagner was the best money spent on our wedding. He was nice, professional and did a great job. He took great candid photos—which I love. Not only did we get every picture he took, but the photos were full size and without any writing on them, and they arrived just a few days after we came back home from our honeymoon. We got to choose many pictures for our album. Because everything was digital, he e-mailed me exactly what the layout of the album would be before it was printed, and I was able to make changes. Our album was the nicest I have seen, and everyone who has seen it wishes they had hired him.”
—Genevieve and William
Every Bride and Groom Deserve Beautiful Wedding Photos!
Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences about inviting children to weddings in the comment box below. Have a wonderful wedding, and many thanks for visiting my Long Island wedding photographer blog!